Friday, July 16, 2010

Dear Colorado,

I guess since I've taken up residence once again in your terrain that now might be a good time to clear the air and reacquaint ourselves a bit. I know that I'm not technically a native since I first arrived on your soil at the tender age of 5, but you never seemed to hold that against me. And now that I've been away for four years, I hope that your acceptance is even further extended.

I have to admit that we never really got off on the right foot. I grew up believing that the move out here was what prompted the demise of my parents marriage, triggering a domino-effect upon the course of my life. I wasn't angry with you specifically, but I think that as a result I was never able to attach to you. You could never be considered home if you were the cause of so much pain in my life.

It was when I became involved with a church youth group that I began to fall in love with you. As I backpacked into your mysterious and vast mountains, skied some of your most rugged terrain, rafted down your rivers, and traveled from one end of the Rockies to the other I grew eyes that could behold glimpses of your beauty. There were many dark moments when your beauty reminded me of life, refreshed my broken spirit, and renewed my hope in the journey.

But as the years went on and the journey laid forth some difficult turns, your beauty was no longer enough to soothe my sorrowful soul. You offered what you could in your masculine landscapes, but it wasn't the rugged terrain I needed. It was the nurturance of a feminine beauty, where one's thirst can be quenched, that my heart most ached for. Four years of being tended to by luscious leaves, water in abundance, and a blanket of clouds...that is what I needed.

So here I am once again. I have come back. And I'm hoping for a new kind of relationship. You no longer have to bear all of the blame for my parents divorce. And I've discovered a life-source within, so your beauty needn't always rescue me. Instead, I long for us to give to one another, to see one another in a new way. Our stories are intertwined. Your land holds many memories for me - many of great harm, many of great joy. But my hope, is that our journey has entered into an entirely new chapter...that our relationship is about to take a different form. Colorado - I'm asking you to love me well...and I finally feel able to truly love you back.

Yours,
Shauna

4 comments:

krista faith said...

like.

The Tigerts said...

dear colorado,

I used to like you, but now you have taken a tender soul from me and you are keeping her. that makes me sad. oh colorado, you are so lovely, so beautiful, and her presence makes you even more astounding. you are a lucky place. colorado, colorado, be good to her. Love her. heal the ways that you've hurt her. you are lucky she is giving you a second chance.

Jessica said...

I love this. You don't know me, but I'm an incoming Mars Hill student who just moved to Seattle from Denver. Thanks for putting some of my feelings into words :)

EandCmitchell said...

thank you for your sharing your journey. i hope you find peace and life and home redeemed.