I want my body back.

It's been awhile since I've processed in this space. I have a list of blog-worthy topics, but little time for the labor and delivery necessary to produce an actual post. But after taking some time to read a bit of Engendered Lives: A New Psychology of Women's Experience by Ellyn Kaschak this morning, I couldn't defuse the urge to write something on the topic.

"From the masculine perspective, women are defined by their bodies. Everything about a woman is both grounded in and defined by her female body and, in particular, its sexuality, defined in masculinist society as the ability to arouse, rather than to experience, desire. The measure of woman's sexuality is man's tumescence. What about her is arousing, and even whether she intends to arouse, is also designated by the male. It may be her legs for a 'leg man,' her breasts for a 'breast man,' her resistance or her nonresistance for a rapist. His feelings become hers, his desire her desirability, his admiration her measure of worth, his disdain her degradation, his ridicule her humiliation." ~Ellyn Kashcak in Engendered Lives

I recently conducted a workshop with the CCU women's soccer team where we discussed why it's essential that women reclaim their bodies for themselves. We live in a culture that perpetuates the pervasive myth that women's bodies are primarily for men. Statistically, 1 in 3 women are sexually abused by the age of 16. For these girls, it is not just culture that strips them of a sense of ownership over their own bodies.

A few weeks ago I read a news article reflecting upon the stigma of breastfeeding babies in French culture. The article highlighted the possibility that the low rates of breastfeeding are connected to the mentality that a woman's breasts are for her husband and not for her baby. What would happen if we declared that a woman's breasts are really for HER. What if HER breasts are for her and can be a part of her own experience of pleasure and intimacy in relationship to her lover. What if we viewed breastfeeding as a source of mutual gratification - for a woman to share her own sustenance with the child she brought into this world. Breastfeeding can exemplify the beauty of attachment and the power of being able to freely offer nourishment to another human being.

Just last night I heard the story of Eman Al-Obeidy, the East Libyan woman who reported being kidnapped and gang raped by Libyan soldiers just a few weeks ago. She has since indicated that the rape was a tactic by these soldiers to convey a message to the rebels about what they will continue to do to "their" women. Currently, CNN is reporting on the 9 or 10 women whose remains have been discovered in Long Island. It seems that no country is free and clear of the continued oppression directed specifically towards women and their bodies.

I have this new theory that all women are in some way indirectly traumatized by this cultural reality. Maybe someday I'll be able to conduct research and explore this hypothesis more academically. But for now, my own pondering is all that I can leave you with. Perhaps the trauma has resulted in a numbness or the dissociation of our own desire. Maybe the trauma has been so severe that we have nearly lost the ability to imagine an Edenic experience where men and women are free to feel grounded in their own bodies, their own ability to be aroused and compelled to use their bodies to create an experience of mutually honoring pleasure.

I'm left wondering what it is about female desire, feminine beauty, that is so threatening to this world. Why has it been so violently attacked for as far back as history allows us to explore?

Current events

I needed to rant a bit this morning about a few current events...

Was anyone else disturbed by the fact that Broncos player, Perish Cox, was allowed to play during the game this past Sunday? He was arrested and charged with felony sexual assault a few days before the game. He posted his $50,000 bail, left jail and didn't seem to skip a beat...oh wait, that's right, he wasn't allowed to play as a starter. Most of the media has decided to focus on the apparent double standard when it comes to the consequences set in place for superstars vs. peripheral figures in the athletic arena as Rothlisberger was suspended for 6 games earlier in the season under the suspicion of committing a similar crime, though after a criminal investigation charges were never filed. I've read a handful of articles arguing how unfair this was to Rothlisberger given the failure for the NFL to respond in a similar manner with Cox.

Seriously??? Is that really where our focus should be? Why aren't we asking questions...in the media and beyond...like - What does this convey regarding our culture and the value of women in general? A man is charged with felony sexual assault and he is still allowed to entertain the world from the football field? REALLY?! I  know many will argue that any individual is innocent until proven guilty...and I do value this ideal held by our country's justice system. But is it that preposterous to think that an organization geared toward primarily entertaining men, an organization that holds a significant amount of power in our society, should have a no-tolerance stance on the abuse of women??? No player should be allowed to represent the NFL until his name is cleared of all such criminal charges!

And...onto current event #2. Last night, I watched a clip from Bill O'Reilly's show where he released footage of Miley Cyrus hitting a bong and smoking Salvia. He then proceeded to call her "pathetic" and indicated that her days of being a role model to young girls throughout the world are long gone. I became infuriated after watching this clip. What gives this older male the right to place judgment on an 18 year old girl? I'm not suggesting that smoking Salvia was a wise choice on Cyrus' part, but does O'Reilly have any insight into what it is like to live as an adolescent girl in today's world??? Calling this young woman "pathetic" is not only harsh...it is abusive. She has been in front of camera's since she was a young child, she's had to contend with media attention and the constant scrutiny and expectations of a world drunk on hollywood, and she's recently discovered that her parents are divorcing. Is she an excellent "role model" for our young girls - no, but who made that her job??? How can we expect an adolescent girl to carry the burden of setting the example for a world filled with confused and struggling adolescent girls?

I thought ranting here would help...not so much. Still infuriated with the countless ways women are still continually devalued in our world on a daily basis.

Slam Poetry...