life happens...

It's been a long time since I've engaged in this form of public self-expression. So long in fact that my web browser no longer identified or automatically remembered the site address. So here's an update on the many things that have happened over the past couple of months:

Soccer. Lots and lots of soccer. Faith had an excellent season and really demonstrated her athleticism and potential in this sport. She was scouted out by a competitive coach who invited her to play in a tournament with his team prior and then asked her to tryout for the 2011-2012 year. Needless to say, she made the top team and now we are working extra jobs to pay for her soccer. Yes, we have become "those parents." I figured, "What the heck, I already have the soccer mom vehicle." Bailey had a sad season (where they lost every single game) but it was fun having her dad as the coach. She is still too young to play competitive but she tried out for the developmental league (where they prepare you for competitive) and is excited to play on a team that may actually win a game or two next year.

Krisalyn decided to forego soccer for a season and take another dance class this year. It was rather difficult for her to do something other than what her sisters were doing...but every time she'd slip into that tutu she'd transform into a mini Kayla Radomski (a former contestant on SYTYCD). I'm trying not to be the mom that lives vicariously through her daughter...but she's got something special.

The girls and Brian finished up yet another school year. It's hard to wrap our minds around the fact that we've been back in CO for nearly a year. Bri just started his Master's program yesterday and he's extremely excited to further his education now that he has 5 years of teaching under his belt! I'm so proud of him.

In the last few months we've watched a pile of dirt transform into a house. It's been such an awesome experience being able to be a part of design selections for all different aspects of this construction. I don't think there have ever been two people who've been as excited as we are to get into a home. A real home. A home where we'll actually stay for longer than two years. A home we've carefully selected and lovingly tended to throughout this process. The love and life that will be housed in that red cozy house on Silver Swan will be a significant part of our story as a family. July 20th is our closing date. 34 days from today. It feels like it's still a ways away...but it's been worth the wait.

That sums up the big details of our life over the past few months. Now maybe this re-entry into the blogosphere will spark some more substantial posts.

A few pictures updates as well:

Christopher returned from bootcamp only to leave ten days later for combat training and schooling to be an air traffic controller for the Marines.

The Gauthier Girls dominated at field day this year!

32 before 32

It seems that the days of the week continue to escape and I'm left wondering when it will feel like we are actually building a life once more. So far, most of our time out here has been consumed with trying to help the girls with the transition as much as possible - getting them into school, joining a soccer league, trying to develop a rhythmic routine on school nights, and leaving space for adventure and rest on the weekends.

It's when I'm not focusing solely on my role as a mother that the sense of sorrow, frustration or self-doubt begin to make their way into my thoughts. Brian and I have been wrestling with a host of ideas about what we want for our life together in this next season. It has been a difficult process - one that often feels like a roller-coaster filled with more screams of terror than squeals of delight. As we've been attempting to sift the wheat from the chaff, I have found it relatively soothing to write lists for each week. I wouldn't say that I've always been a list person - I mean I have definitely written my share of to-do lists...but most of them were abandoned before I ever experienced the sheer joy of crossing every item off. Something has shifted, however, because now it feels like these weekly lists are part of my psychological survival strategy amidst this sea of chaos and questioning.

And tonight I decided to take it one step further...or maybe a hundred steps further. I decided to come up with a list of things that I hope to do before my 32nd birthday on June 8, 2011. I'll post it here and then each time I'm able to cross something off the list, I'll document the experience in some form or fashion in this space as well.

32. Open up my own private practice
31. Write at last 100 pages of a memoir
30. Complete the p90x program
29. Buy a piece of furniture from a garage sale and turn it into something beautiful
28. Cook 10 recipe from Molly Wizenberg’s book A Homemade Life
27. Paint a picture
26. Learn to like my own body
25. Take my husband on a memorable date
24. Read another Jane Austen novel
23. Send someone an unexpected gift
22. Complete Bailey’s 0-5 years Scrapbook (yes...I’m very behind)
21. Purchase a new pair of amazing boots
20. Begin to read the Bible again
19. Make a snowman
18. Go on a road trip
17. Learn to bake scones
16. Become and Auntie AGAIN...twice!
15. Get a camera
14. Go to a museum
13. Take the family skiing
12. Go on three artist dates
11. Sew bedding for my new niece or nephew
10. Visit an art gallery
9. Watch a lot of Oprah
8. Learn to knit
7. Get pregnant???
6. Go on a bike ride with Bri-Daddy
5. Re-watch the entire Lord of the Rings DVD set
4. Attend a dance production or musical
3. Spend an entire day by myself in silence
2. Read a history book
1. Make new friends

Productivity

We decided to tackle our annual post-Christmas task of purging and re-organizing this weekend (our first weekend home in 3 weeks). It's amazing how much stuff we actually have tucked away in this relatively small apartment. This 1200 square foot pad, occupied by three little people and two not-so-little people, was right on the verge of feeling rather cluttered. I am not a clutter-loving person. I'm not even a clutter-accepting person. I need space to breathe, to think, to be...which is probably why the prospect of building a house on my mother's 5 acres of land in Castle Rock once we've finished this stretch of Operation: Get Masters Degree and Figure Life Out in Seattle Mission (yeah right) is so appealing.

Despite the challenges we faced in re-organizing this year, I am quite pleased with the result. After 6 hours of sorting through piles and piles of all things girlie, 2 trash bags filled with toys and a few clothing items worthy of a Goodwill donation, 3 trash bags of..well, trash, a few hundred dollars worth of Ikea and Target organizing thing-a-ma-jigs, 2 hours of assembling said thing-a-ma-jigs and 2 pooped-out parental units - I can finally breathe once again.

Ahhhhhhh (that is a relaxed sigh escaping my virtual mouth). Now, to unwind, I am partaking in my last binge on holiday junk food before beginning Operation: Get My Ass Back in Shape for another Half Marathon Prior to Conceiving Baby #4 while scouring online deals on great fabric! I am so freaking domesticated. It's pathetic - I know- but check out this great Robert Allen design I found on fabric.com for only $12.98/yd.

Changing of the seasons

I typically have no space in my mind or in my day to contribute anything meaningful to this blog between Monday and Thursday of each week. I'm lucky if I get an average of 6 hours of sleep each night during this portion of the week. Anxiety is undeniably thick and my back is screaming by Thursday night...typically. But the start of this week feels different somehow. Something is shifting internally and is beginning to leak into my external reality. I'm not sure what has triggered this season of newness that seems almost within my reach; but something has indeed begun to move. I can feel it. I am eagerly awaiting what is to come. That's all I have for now...just a glimpse of some goodness moving in.

Oh...and I just thought I'd mention that I attended church this past weekend AND I didn't hate it (still a bit frightened to admit I actually kind of liked it). More on that later perhaps.